World Championship Goat Cookoff

Ahhh The goat Reminds me of a story from Culinary school. I was in the American Bounty Restaurant. The last restaurant you work/train in before you graduate. We were doing a party for Appolinaris they are a sparkling water company bidding to be the provider of Sparkling water for the school. They specially requested goat to be part of their first course. Now you just can't call up the butcher chop and order a loin of goat or a top round. No No No. You have to order the whole dang thing! So 3 days later. A naked gutted billy goat arrives in out kitchen. Our chef looks to me and says Get me the top round and do what you want to with the rest of him! I said okay. I cut the leg off gave my chef the top round and away he went to cook it.
Our chef I don't want to make any specific characterizations but let's just say if he couldn't boil it or cook it at 500 degrees he was in trouble! Since this was a nice new kitchen it had european stoves. They go up to 600 degrees. He cranked up the oven and went back to check on it an hour and a half later. The top round is about the size of a 6 year of your average foot. Let's just say at 600 degrees for 90 minutes the parts of it that weren't carbon were soooo chewy and nasty they were like chewing on pencil erasers. Instead of trying it again. He had the meat chopped into fine dice and sprinkled into a salad.
So that leaves me 98% of a goat. So I do the appropriate thing I butcher him down to chops and steaks remove the loins Blah blah blah. Call my chef over so he can see what I did, and what he can sell on the menu. He looks me in the eyes and said," I am NOT selling goat on the menu I hate goat and it will never sell. Grind it all up and turn it into goat burgers for the rest of the class!" So I ground a little. made a burger from it tasted it found it to be rather dry and very much like venison in flavor. As I was doing this My classmates were whispering in my ear If you make that our dinner bad things are gonna happen. I went back to my chef and told him, "Chef you don't want to eat goat. They don't want to eat goat. Once I label this and put it in the freezer no one will use it."He said, "Chef I don't care what happens to poor Billy but he hasn't much of a future here or anywhere else in this school." I said to my chef. "If Billy were to fall on the floor then we couldn't use it. That would be against the rules and the health code. Right?" He said Yes. " So I went to the table gathered up all of the bits of goat and threw them on the floor conveniently covered with a garbage bag and accidentally spilled sanitizer water on it. I went to the chef and said, "Chef we were moving the table and the goat fell off, and so did the sanitizer. It was an accident chef. I'm sorry." He said, "These accidents will happen no problem just clean up the mess. The whole kitchen knew exactly what was going on. But if someone was to ask or question us. We needed to have a story to go with. I knew my chef wanted it to go away. He couldn't order me to get rid of it because it would get him in trouble. So I had to help the situation along.
So what have we learned here. Chef John runs a clean kitchen. Follows rules. Thinks goat tastes a little like venison only dryer. I am able to take a perfectly good animal and render it into little pieces ready to cook quickly. And since he will be in Florida he won't be able to attend the World Championship Goat cookoff.
JB